Wednesday, August 12, 2009

To Spank or Not to Spank, That is the question

“Spare the rod and spoil the child” “Beat until submission” What is the difference between these two phrases? Age. It all comes down to age. Why do we think that children do not understand what we are saying and therefore deserve a spanking? By spanking we are communicating that we, the adult, have lost control and have now resorted to brute strength to obtain our desired result from the child. Why do we choose to spank rather than remove the child from the situation and speak with them? Of course it is going to take many a talking to until the child understands.

When we beat someone into submission, it is called domestic abuse. That is a crime. If the abused can be brought to submission after numerous beatings, it is because they have been broken…broken down in body and spirit. And this is an adult.

What do you think spankings do to children? Do we really think that they are thinking” hmmm I get spanked if I anger mommy or daddy, so I will anger them purposely”? NO, the child is trying to learn their boundaries and spread their wings. It is our job as parents, aunts, uncles, etc., to help the child learn right and wrong, good and dangerous and most importantly, love.

So next time you have the urge or the reaction to want to spank, take a moment and think about it. Do you really want to show the child that you are bigger and stronger or do you want to help the child understand with love and compassion?
The choice you make is critical.

Any thoughts to share?
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